Thursday, June 23, 2005

Another Obituary*...Maybe They Thought Kelo Referred To A Quantity Of Pot.

Washington, DC 6/23/05

Word has been received of the death of the U.S. Constitution. The Constitution died at its home after a lengthy illness. It was surrounded by loved ones and lawyers.

The Constitution was born in 1786 in Philadelphia, PA. Though afflicted with a number of congenital defects, through surgery and other therapies it made an almost full recovery. The Constitution became a leading proponent of liberty and justice and an admired leader throughout the world.

Diagnosed in 1965 with Emanating Penumbritis, the Constitution deteriorated rapidly as major amendments were infected and began to fail. It is survived by an older brother, The Declaration of Independence.

A memorial service was to be held in the National Cathedral, however, the building was condemned and demolished to make way for upscale condos and a high-end outlet mall.

In lieu of flowers, cash donations can be sent to the DNC, RNC, or the ABA.

* The first obituary.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Eric the .5b said...

1786, I assume you mean.

6:32 PM  
Blogger G said...

I never was very good with numbers! Thanks for pointing that out. I'll fix it right away.

6:52 PM  
Anonymous Ashley said...

Very cheeky.

In other news, the rumours of Draft (the Constitution's distant cousin)'s re-birth seem to have been greatly exaggerated.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/draft.asp

7:40 PM  
Anonymous Ashley said...

http://www.freenation.tv/hotellostliberty2.html

The irony is delicious!

12:56 PM  
Blogger G said...

Ashley,

That is hilarious. I wonder if Souter's street address is pronounced "Silly" Hill?

3:20 PM  

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